Almost every day I try to answer this question: What is conscious sexuality? Each day the answer is a different one. There are so many ways to describe a complete experience, whose completeness does not necessarily derive from the pleasure it contains, but from the very awareness, present in every moment, of what is happening and the agreement to feel everything.
So, the definition that appeared this week is that there is an option to experience sexuality in the pelvic area in particular. This area, and I love it so, is so sensuous, sensory, round, mysterious.
In this level of sexuality, there is something wild, on the verge of unconsciousness. Pleasure takes the lead, animalistic attraction comes to the fore and dominates, a desire manifests to touch, to merge, to mug almost. Sometimes it feels as if I am eating when I so touch the body of a man, it is so delicious, I love the smell of it , my body surrenders and opens up, producing scents and tastes of its own, and those, too, I love: damp sweat begins to appear, the body is joyous, I feel heat spreading in me.
To this marvelous sexual stratum other strata may be added, other body parts, below the pelvis there are the legs, the thighs, feet, and around there is the stomach, back, and buttocks, the shoulder blades, chest, shoulders and lower back … and there are the face, head, hair, neck … the mouth!
All these wonderful body parts open new emotional, energetic, spiritual, sensory and mental centers during a sexual encounter. We can concurrently feel more of our being and open up to the experience we are undergoing (analogous to a situation where one uses more parts of the brain), in order to expose the entire body to a vast sensual experience. In that respect, emotional and spiritual openness serve as a gateway.
Due to a more intimate and emotional connection, a feeling of deep friendship, of home and hearth, of belonging, a linking through the heart, can manifest. The yen for physical merger can transform sensual desire into emotional attraction that pines for unity. The experience of unity is available when the heart is open. This experience nourishes every cell of one’s being with a knowing of love.
In my experience, open and authentic communication allows greater depth to transpire as we traverse between the wild/animalistic and the emotional strata. More room is made for more parts, more awareness, more desires and a greater presence in the body.
Conscious sexuality as acceptance, the kind that allows going beyond the familiar and the exploration of new realms of experience and encounter, can enhance enduring intimate relationships that can be sustained for years and years, after the animal attraction had long passed: things change, children come into the world, the body changes and, to my understanding, there is a call from such reality for expansion of the sexual experience.
The amalgamation of, and play between, the wild and animalistic properties and the emotional and intimate qualities enable a more complete realization of who we truly are, as well as opportunities for creatively moving into the wonderful phenomena of the feminine and masculine and the magnet present in between.
I believe that if we would learn at an early age that the sexual and sensual pleasure experience has infinite possibilities, it is reasonable to assume that we would accord sexuality more room in our lives, that we wouldn’t get scared when feelings change throughout life, that we’d treat it as an opportunity for a deeper, more exposed encounter, one that serves our growth and expansion.