{"id":10321,"date":"2022-08-17T13:14:41","date_gmt":"2022-08-17T10:14:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/doritbar.com\/?p=10321"},"modified":"2022-09-07T16:07:28","modified_gmt":"2022-09-07T13:07:28","slug":"what-is-a-safe-space-for-sexual-and-intimate-development","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/doritbar.com\/en\/what-is-a-safe-space-for-sexual-and-intimate-development\/","title":{"rendered":"What is a safe space for sexual and intimate development?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wpb-content-wrapper\">[vc_row el_class=&#8221;lefttoright&#8221;][vc_column][vc_single_image image=&#8221;10045&#8243; img_size=&#8221;870X495&#8243;]<div id=\"ultimate-heading-98576aabd72673255\" class=\"uvc-heading ult-adjust-bottom-margin ultimate-heading-98576aabd72673255 uvc-8102  uvc-heading-default-font-sizes\" data-hspacer=\"no_spacer\"  data-halign=\"left\" style=\"text-align:left\"><div class=\"uvc-heading-spacer no_spacer\" style=\"top\"><\/div><div class=\"uvc-sub-heading ult-responsive\"  data-ultimate-target='.uvc-heading.ultimate-heading-98576aabd72673255 .uvc-sub-heading '  data-responsive-json-new='{\"font-size\":\"\",\"line-height\":\"\"}'  style=\"font-weight:normal;\">\n<h2><span style=\"color: #ce1951;\">What is a safe space for sexual and intimate development?<\/span><\/h2>\n<h2><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/h2>\n<\/div><\/div>[vc_column_text]\n<div class=\"o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\">\n<div class=\"kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\">\n<div dir=\"auto\">\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>In order to answer the question<\/strong>, it is useful to delve deeper into the concept of<strong> &#8220;ethics&#8221;<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">The word &#8216;ethics&#8217; is derived from the Greek word \u2013 ETHOS &#8211; meaning; custom, <strong>a set of moral principles to which we must act accordingly when we hold a position of influence on another or a situation.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">When we come to define Professional ethics, we need to ask ourselves;<strong> What is the appropriate, responsible act that considers my influence on the other?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To my understanding, the most important insight is that as facilitators in Self-development workshops or as therapists, <\/span><b>we have a significant impact on the people who come to learn and go through processes with us.\u00a0<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">The relational space between a client and his\/ her therapist or facilitator is not a normal relationship, although fundamentally it is of course a<strong> human relationship.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">The natural structure in a <strong>therapeutic and educational relational field<\/strong> often times has a wide array of <strong>emotional projections<\/strong> at play.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>A therapeutic structure has a clear differentiation between the role of the therapist and the role of the patient<\/strong>. It has hierarchy and authority.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>A therapist-patient relationship contains the potential for healing<\/strong>, for relief and positive development, <strong>but it also has the possibility for exploitation, abuse of power and harm.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">Our genitals are the most vulnerable and sensitive to touch, <strong>hence the domain of sexuality is the most vulnerable and sensitive part of us all.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">This means that as sexual and intimate therapists \/ facilitators,<strong> our Professional Ethics must consider this dual complexity:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"> Deepening into sexual energy is <strong>working directly with the vitality of life force and it evokes powerful feelings of both pleasure and pain.<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<ol start=\"2\">\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"> There is an <strong>authoritative influence that exists in therapeutic and educational relationships.<\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>In my understanding<\/strong>, the professional responsibility lies first and foremost with the therapist\/facilitator &#8211; and secondary to that with the participant who chooses to come to the workshop, or to a specific therapist.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">When a person enters a therapeutic space, the person\u2019s pain follows suit, at this tender moment the person is in a weaker position than the therapist. <strong>There is also a monetary exchange, and by the very structure of therapeutic relationship, the therapist holds power<\/strong> in her \/ his hands.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n[\/vc_column_text]<div id=\"ultimate-heading-18066aabd72673458\" class=\"uvc-heading ult-adjust-bottom-margin ultimate-heading-18066aabd72673458 uvc-5650  uvc-heading-default-font-sizes\" data-hspacer=\"no_spacer\"  data-halign=\"left\" style=\"text-align:left\"><div class=\"uvc-heading-spacer no_spacer\" style=\"top\"><\/div><div class=\"uvc-sub-heading ult-responsive\"  data-ultimate-target='.uvc-heading.ultimate-heading-18066aabd72673458 .uvc-sub-heading '  data-responsive-json-new='{\"font-size\":\"\",\"line-height\":\"\"}'  style=\"font-weight:normal;\">\n<h3><span style=\"color: #ce1951;\">The question is what do we choose to do with this power?<br \/>\n<\/span><\/h3>\n<h2><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/h2>\n<\/div><\/div>[vc_column_text]\n<div class=\"o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\">\n<div class=\"kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\">\n<div dir=\"auto\">\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">We can channel it into a beneficial healing power, or if our professional ethics are not aligned, out of ignorance, a blind spot or lack of experience, we can hurt the person and ergo ourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">It is important for me to emphasise that any harm inflicted on another is always mutual; If my ethics are not aligned with the present situation and I don\u2019t respect my patient\u2019s\/student\u2019s personal space and I cross the line, I will harm myself as well as my patient. In every sexual and emotional abuse there are always two people that are harmed.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">I feel that I am touching here on vulnerable and sensitive point both for those who turn to receive sexual treatments therapy and for those who provide them, as well as for those who guide and participate in workshops in the sexual field.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">What do you think about yoni massage (vulva) and lingam (penis) massage as a therapeutic method?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">I believe that in today&#8217;s age, yoni and lingam massage have their place in personal or couple training as tools for self-exploration only.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>At the current times which we live in, there is openness, availability, and opportunities to meet people in our daily lives<\/strong> and so to create intimate, personal sexual experiences for ourselves.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>When the root of a relationship is based on our common humanity and friendship without monetary exchange<\/strong>,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">it is natural and appropriate in an intimate and friendly space to learn more about intimate gentile massage, <strong>to bring healing to the painful places<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">In the absence of monetary exchange, there exists an equal position\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">between the receiver and the giver.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">In Intimate sexual massage training, I see importance and significance for<strong> female facilitators to train women and for male facilitators to train men.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">In treatment methods that allow and include genitals touched by the therapist as a built-in part of the treatment,<strong> the harm is also directly built-in the treatment method<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">It is crucial to emphasise again that<strong> in any sexual and emotional abuse, both parties are harmed.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<span class=\"dt-highlight\" >To summarize the question of What is a safe space for sexual development &#8211;<\/span>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>My answer is<\/strong> that a safe space for sexual-intimate-emotional healing is a space where Professional Ethics of the therapist or facilitator are transparently discussed, they protect and guard with the highest care the patients\/participants.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>There are many more questions worth listening to in the same context, such as<\/strong> &#8211;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n[\/vc_column_text]<div id=\"ultimate-heading-84296aabd7267360a\" class=\"uvc-heading ult-adjust-bottom-margin ultimate-heading-84296aabd7267360a uvc-5158  uvc-heading-default-font-sizes\" data-hspacer=\"no_spacer\"  data-halign=\"left\" style=\"text-align:left\"><div class=\"uvc-heading-spacer no_spacer\" style=\"top\"><\/div><div class=\"uvc-sub-heading ult-responsive\"  data-ultimate-target='.uvc-heading.ultimate-heading-84296aabd7267360a .uvc-sub-heading '  data-responsive-json-new='{\"font-size\":\"\",\"line-height\":\"\"}'  style=\"font-weight:normal;\">\n<h3><span style=\"color: #ce1951;\">What is sexual therapy?<\/span><\/h3>\n<h2><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/h2>\n<\/div><\/div>[vc_column_text]\n<div class=\"o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\">\n<div class=\"kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\">\n<div dir=\"auto\">\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In this stage in the evolution of sexuality, is intimate genital contact provided by therapists is a necessary requirement for healing?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">What will help us connect to our<strong> inner authority<\/strong> and know how to choose what is truly safe for us?<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>I have been accompanying people in sexual, intimate, and emotional development and healing processes for over ten years<\/strong>. In my formal profession I am a social worker and a graduate of psychology studies.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">It is through my own<strong> personal healing journey<\/strong> and in good faith that I became a sexual and intimate therapist.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">I began by asking myself questions about <strong>feminine sexuality, body awareness and deep listening<\/strong>. The more I healed the unintegrated wounds of the past, the more I heard the inner call to share the knowledge with the world.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">At first, I only worked with women, over time, I also began to work with men, couples, and groups.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">I write all this, not as a self-testimony, but rather to convey that <strong>everything written here is based on a great deal of professional and personal experience<\/strong>, internal investigation, and constant learning.\u00a0<strong> I have over ten thousand hours of therapy and teaching of individuals and groups, a wide variety of encounters with professionals from all over the world in the field of sexuality,<\/strong> and last but not least a\u00a0 daily reflection on questions of morality, love and ethics.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>My Professional Ethics are<\/strong>:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>Trust<\/strong> \u2013\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">A safe space for a healing journey may including a healing touch but no genital touch.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>Honesty<\/strong> \u2013\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">There is permission to talk about everything \/ UNPORN<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>Emotional Responsibility<\/strong> \u2013\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">Nudity is not predetermined<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div><\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\"><strong>Request; Self-healing as a way of life<\/strong> &#8211;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u00a0As a therapist I am committed to my own healing as long as I accompany and care of others.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"gap\" style=\"line-height: 10px; height: 10px;\"><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Thank you for walking together in this journey.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]\n<p><\/p><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>a safe space for sexual-intimate-emotional healing is a space where Professional Ethics of the therapist or facilitator are transparently discussed<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":10549,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[59,84,93,129,95,94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10321","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-blog-en","category-healing","category-intimacy","category-relationships","category-sexuality","category-59","category-84","category-93","category-129","category-95","category-94","description-off"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What is a safe space for sexual and intimate development? 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