{"id":11811,"date":"2023-03-16T13:39:33","date_gmt":"2023-03-16T11:39:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/doritbar.com\/?p=11811"},"modified":"2023-03-16T13:41:11","modified_gmt":"2023-03-16T11:41:11","slug":"mothermyfirstteacheroflove","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/doritbar.com\/en\/mothermyfirstteacheroflove\/","title":{"rendered":"Mother, my first teacher of love"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Mother, my first teacher of love <\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n<\/div><\/div>[vc_empty_space height=”18px”][vc_column_text]\n
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There is a saying that when we lose someone we understand their value to us.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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My mother was injured in a car accident and died on the spot<\/strong> 22 years ago. I was 26, she was 56.<\/span><\/p>\n

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From then until today my love for her grows every day, her presence is with me and I feel loved, protected and nourished by her.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Endless small and big moments of togetherness revolve in my consciousness, she was a caring mother, her children were her whole world.<\/strong> I want to say, still. The fact that she does not live in a body does not change the goodness she radiates, a high sensitivity is needed to feel it. Happily, I have such sensitivity.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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My healing journey with my mother was mostly about expression<\/strong>. I’ve been angry with her over the years when she did not tell her whole truth especially in the relationship with my father and agreed to stay in a violent relationship that didn’t respect her and didn’t see her.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Many years after her death, I went to France to visit her brother, where I found out from conversations with him that there was a time when she filed for divorce<\/strong> and started proceedings with a lawyer, then gave them up because she felt a real threat to her life and the relationship with her children from my father.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I didn’t stop crying when I found out she did exactly what I wanted her to do, she wanted to leave.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

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There was a moment in the forest \u00a0where her brother lived that I sat on the ground and connected to her pure soul, it was a defining moment when all the stories I had about her fell away and only love remained<\/strong>. I could finally see her strengths, her efforts to give and stay sane and functioning in an insane and abusive marital reality.<\/span><\/p>\n

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There are many moments when I want to sit with her for coffee and tell her about my new discoveries about life, about my questions and doubts. I miss her.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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She was the first woman who really listened to me<\/strong>, she was interested in every idea I had, and I had many. The wide-ranging philosophical – psychological – political – sociological point of view that accompanies me to this day was born through her listening. She didn’t negate anything I said, even if she didn’t always agree or understand what I said.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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The moments that touched my heart<\/strong> the most were when she left her demanding job in the middle of the day (accountant at a bank) and came to school to hear me singing<\/strong> in ceremonies mainly, she saw me and loved me, and today I can also say that she taught me to love.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Beloved mother, yesterday you celebrated your birthday, and I like to feel the connection to you precisely on your birthday and not on the day of your death.<\/strong> Thank you for everything you are, thank you<\/strong> for what you gave, thank you for being a great and abundant spirit with a huge smile that will stay with me forever.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0love you\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]\n

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There are many moments when I want to sit with her for coffee and tell her about my new discoveries about life, about my questions and doubts. I miss her.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":11812,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[59,84,93,124],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11811","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-blog-en","category-healing","category-love","category-59","category-84","category-93","category-124","description-off"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMother, my first teacher of love - Conscious Intimacy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There are many moments when I want to sit with her for coffee and tell her about my new discoveries about life, about my questions and doubts. 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