We had the privilege to be mother and daughter for 26 years.
During that time I felt so many conflictual feelings towards her – love, anger, appreciation, disappointment, helplessness, connection, acceptance and resistance.
We had all the colors in our relationship.
The only thing that stayed stable was her love to me. No matter what I said or how I said it, she was always or a least most of the times with her heart open to me.
Definitely she loved me unconditionally while I struggled with my love to her.
I had sharp opinions about her choices concerning her relationship with my father.
I had tons of criticism about her choice to stay with him while he did not respect her.
She allowed me to say everything. She listened even when she couldn’t realize my suggestions.
She died in a car accident when I was 26 years old.
In her death she gave me the present of love and appreciating life as there are.
It took me at least 8 years more to forgive her for everything and today finally I can say I love her unconditionally. I understand her choices and most of all I am in deep gratitude for the way she listened to me.
She was the first person who listened to all my ideas, she appreciated them altogether.
Her death allowed me to change my life in a way that appreciates life and me much more.
Mother I love you
You are with me everywhere I go.
Thank you for being my mother in this life.