Why do couples divorce or separate?
A few days ago, I met a couple that asked for counselling, one of them decided to break up the marriage and this decision brought chaos and a big crisis to the household.
I didn’t know what I was going to meet, if they were truly at the verge of breakup, or was there a possibility to heal the rapture and remain together?
What was very clear and striking to me was that when I met them underneath the pain, the tears, the mutual complaints – there was love.
A Love that both parties were blind to feel or indeed put their attention on, a love that turned into co-dependency, into repetitive complaints and a sense of guilt, a love that turned into anger, frustration, and separation, but underneath all these the core, the essence was love.
I thought to myself while seating with them “If only you had asked for help a few years ago – everything would have looked different”.
Suffering and disharmony in relationships are the emotions’ way of telling us that there is a ground for growth, something to learn, to develop into, a new ability to discover perhaps and a different angle to observe through.
When a couple neglects to care and cultivate their communication skills on all levels – the relationship rot and over time grows, this may very well lead to separation.
However, if you choose to remember that when it is difficult, when it hurts, you can ask for help. There are many wonderful professionals who are there just for you.
Then you will discover that love is a process that we learned, day by day, hour by hour, and the more we invest our time in learning about loving communication in relationships, the percentage of divorces will decrease, and we will see more smiling people.
So when you are going through time of crises and pain in a relationship – ask for professional help! don’t remain a lone with your pain and difficulty.
Search for your own unique path through a workshop, a book, a therapist, a women’s circle / men’s circle, a friend, a friendship to bring remedy to the pain and bring harmony and joy back into your home.